“Life wants life”
THIS BLOG POST HAS INFORMATION AND EDUCATION ABOUT SUICIDE. PLEASE READ ONLY IF IT IS SAFE FOR YOU TO BE EXPOSED TO SUCH MATERIAL. RESPECTING YOUR SENSETIVITIES TO THE TOPIC.
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“Life wants life” Gabor Mate
“Life wants life”, is what Gabor has said many times, when he was asked a question that is related to the reason why we are here on this Earth.
First time I heard this response it was just an answer to a question. However, the more I absorbed it into my consciousness the more I appreciated the profundity of it.
Many of us, myself included, have thought about the existentialist question of “Why was I even born?” “Why am I here?” and so on.
The fact that each of us is born, is a miracle and a gift. You all already know that the journey of life from pre-conception, to conception and birth is an astounding one. As humans with consciousness, a part of us is aware of this, and wants to shine and thrive. Yet, sometimes, something happens along the way that might have us think otherwise.
None of us wants to die.
As much as immortality is a human fantasy and death is inevitable fact of life. We don’t want our life to be taken from us, all of us have deep rooted desires to live. Now what happens that some of us die of suicide. In the province that I live in, British Columbia, suicide is second leading cause of death among young people aged 15-24.
Suicide is never taken lightly in the mental health world. As clinicians, we all have duty to take suicide and suicidal ideation seriously.
Raising awareness about suicide is an essential first step, we all need to learn how to approach it.
Here are some important factors to be aware of:
1- Always ask about suicide directly.
When someone speaks about suicide even vaguely. Ask them directly if they are thinking about killing or hurting themselves.
For example, you can ask: “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”
2- Explore the suicide ideation.
Find out how often and how frequent the person has the thoughts.
How long the thoughts last?
Do they have any specific plans?
Have they previously attempted, or acted on their plans?
Do they have the means to act on their plans?
3- Explore their intention.
Why do they want to kill themselves?
What does it mean to them to die of suicide.
4- Don’t promise that you will keep the information confidential. You will have to get appropriate professional help and rescue if the person acts on their plans and or becomes at imminent risk.
5- Create Safety
There is a lot of stigma about suicide. When you ask about the suicide, be the safe person to receive the truth.
Which means, have no judgments.
Don’t joke about suicide.
Listen.
Pay attention to the signs and signals.
Get help.
Ask the question in a safe environment.
Hold space.
Don’t romanticize it.
Don’t make suicide a heroic act of self-sacrifice, regardless of the person’s motives.
6- Create a safety plan for you and the person.
Just because you asked and your friend of family opened up to you about their suicidal ideations and thoughts doesn’t mean you have the means to save them.
You need to get help for yourself, as this might affect your mental wellness.
As well as getting the person the professional help they need.
However, until you have not received a confirming “NO” from the person with suicidal thoughts and ideation, you need to stay alert.
There are many personal meanings and perceptions that a person might have towards their decision to die of suicide.
Some examples are:
Loss of Control over one’s life
Experience of acute helplessness and hopelessness
Revenge against another person, organization or an authority
Perception of having no value to other family, community, or society.
Sharing the news about someone dyeing of suicide is also a very delicate topic.
Survivors (meaning the family and friends of the person died of suicide) usually having a more challenging time to move through their grief.
Talking about someone’s dying of suicide can confirm and motivate another person with high risk factors.
Sharing the news of suicide casually can bring up a lot of pain in people that have had previous suicidal ideations or attempts.
There are rules and regulations about sharing the suicide news, in social media and public platforms.
Suicide prevention in community
1- Support groups for those at risk
2-Support groups for families/friends
3-Education
4-Local resources
Please be informed about suicide and DO NOT speak about it casually. Suicide is a complex phenomenon.
If you experience any of the above-mentioned symptoms please get help. You are never alone.
help lines (24hrs/day, 7 days/week):
In BC, Canada
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
In USA
988
In UK
116123
International Helpline Berlin
030-44 01 06 07